I am so sorry for my absence lately and I wanted to write a post to you all to explain why I have not been on my blog or social media for quite some time now.
As a lot of you already know, I live with chronic pain and some periods are worse than others. I have been living with chronic pain for over 20 years so I am used to it. But when living with constant pain you are constantly stressed and sometimes my head just shuts down and I want to give up on life.
What a lot of you don’t know is that I struggle for the right to be sick. That might sound really weird for some of you. But Sweden used to have a great welfare system. To make a long story short. Swedes pay a huge amount of taxes so that school and healthcare is free (or cheap at least). But then it changed and people like me (not able to work any more) were kicked out of the welfare system. Since then I have been fighting for the right to be sick. I have tried working three times and I always end up in a worse situation than before. I go from very little medication to full doses. My head is whimsy and I can’t do anything with my kids since the pain is too overwhelming. My energy levels were so low after a day that I just stayed in bed not being either a mom or a wife.
Normally I spend a large amount of time in bed and I very often I end up eating my meals in bed instead of with my family at the table. This due to that sitting is too painful. My whole life is planned in detail. If we are invited to a dinner party I need to plan the days before and after so I don’t stress my body too much. I don’t even now how many times I had to stay at home since due to pain. Sometimes it gets so bad that I vomit due to pain.
I don’t want to get into too much details I just want you to know how my life is and to understand why I have been absent.
Just before Christmas I started getting into a smaller depression (I have been in a longer one lasting about 2 years before). So I simply needed a break from everything. I didn’t feel that I wanted to write and if I did it would probably suck:-). My main goal for some time has been being a mom to my two boys. And a wife to my husband. I simply needed to function as a person.
I do feel that I am on my way up and I do feel that I have energy to start blogging again. Spending time with skincare and makeup:-)
If you have any questions just feel free to ask.